Moriah Leila

I really like the idea of this poem, it is very original. Not too many people imagine what it will be like to be buried, so it is an interesting ...

Hmm, I am trying to grasp what you meant by weightless-ness. Do you feel weightless when you're watching squirrels? To me it seems you are describing the appreciation of those ...

If you want the last word of each line to be the beginning of the next, you should probably punctuate it as such. After all, punctuation in poetry is just ...

Ha ha, good job on making everything rhyme. There were even some lines that made a little bit of sense, which was like a word search. This was a fun ...

Hmm, I like the idea here. You are certainly bringing something new to love poetry genre. I just wish you would delve a little deeper. I don't necessarily like the ...

Conrad is completely right. It is a generic love poem and we want some imagery. Focus on all five senses. How does this person make the speaker feel when they ...

I think you use some pretty powerful imagery in this poem to describe the speaker's suicide. And while you are being quite original on the theme of death, I feel ...

Obviously you need to do spell and grammar check before you post anything on YWS. It makes everyone's lives so much easier and happier. While this poem was beautifully written ...

Ha ha ha ha! I love it! I am just like you, I actually hate poetry. Well, I don't mind reading it and I can even critique it. But if ...

I have to say that while this poem is powerful and well-structured, I am left at odds over your word choices. Half of them I don't even know how to ...

I totally agree with Silented on this one. Your idea is solid, but you aren't showing us anything new. You aren't sharing any emotion with the reader. And that is ...

I like the internal battle of the vampire, although I do wish we could feel more of his turmoil. Poetry is about emotion, and this was lacking it. I want ...

I have to agree with Elinor, this is not what I would consider poetry, but prose. Just by putting it into stanzas, does not make it poetry. If you were ...

I disagree with Sleeping, in that I think you did present love in a new perspective. When I first saw the title, I was like, great another poem about love. ...

Well, it is obvious that the speaker likes fruit and they list some good reasons as to why they like it so much. But it doesn't make me want to ...